Passive-aggressive behavior can develop from an early age when a child, for he does not want to argue with parents and also wants to take on his head, starts to become familiar with passive-aggressive strategies. Passive-aggressive behavior is a disguised form of abuse, a subtle form of what lies behind the actions that seem normal, apparently made out of concern for the other.
Those who can not express anger in a healthy way and to repress their feelings so hard-not even realize that they have, are usually those who develop a passive-aggressive behavior. Anger repressed subconscious comes out dressed in a way so that sometimes one having such behavior was not even aware of what is and victimizes, saying that others misunderstand him. This behavior goes hand in hand with lack of trust in others, which inevitably leads to the idea that those not deserving of respect.
It starts with a high tone. Following an offense, then more and peak performance is verbal swearing. Then there is a pushing. Here, the change log, usually fight back.
Aggressive agresatului nerve is amazed now or next to the simple pushing and raises a hand. Increase frequency and intensity of aggression to the extent that it stops respond, so get the "victory", the other silent or give up the dispute.
How not to get there?
1. Discuss this from the beginning
Few are those who discuss this before marriage because you believe either implied or consider it absurd. Or being used violence in their families of origin not designed to behave differently in their marriage. To apply or tolerate violence.
Whether or not this discussed before marriage does not mean that at some point in a certain context will not show verbal aggression. If it is tolerated at first appearances, guaranteed will occur will increase in frequency and intensity.
2. No similar response, but calmly
It is impossible for aggression to appear for the first time in an individual's life, only after getting married. It existed before. Therefore, if we know the problems of self is better to announce partners for helping us control it. Telling him - "if they come see me nervous and avoided me put on the map or shut, no response" is one way to be helped to control me but to tolerate my behavior.
3. Monitors the state of anger and do something to lower
An angry realizes not always, immediately, to his state. Feel angry but believed that it still can control and not always discern the limits of past self. To control the expression of aggression first and most important condition is to you.
4. Realize that it is primarily for your own good you want to change something about you
Unfortunately, no relationship can not work based on fear. And continue this behavior is knowingly killing relationship. Deliberately.
There is no acceptable justification for aggression in couples, family. Yet many people accept and thereby "promote" domestic violence. Always have a choice - to accept or not aggressive spouse.